


Foolish Fears

by likethenight



Category: King Arthur (2004)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-03 01:04:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2832536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likethenight/pseuds/likethenight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Galahad gets entirely the wrong end of the stick when Gawain starts going on about going home and marrying a beautiful Sarmatian woman...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Foolish Fears

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the fic [Free Men](http://community.livejournal.com/knights500/11005.html) by bandonbanshee, a very long time ago.

Galahad felt his heart sink like a stone within him as Gawain held forth about going home and marrying some beautiful Sarmatian woman and fathering hordes of children. Was that truly what he wanted? Had Galahad merely been a distraction to while away the long years in Britannia?

If he thought about it sensibly, he knew that this was not so. But his heart was evidently not feeling sensible, and he could not help but be overwhelmed with fear. What if Gawain truly did not feel about Galahad the same way that Galahad felt about him? Galahad did not think he could bear it. They had never been in the habit of talking about what they shared; Galahad had always believed that they didn't need to because they both knew. What if Gawain didn't speak of it because it didn't mean anything to him? Galahad didn't fear much, but that he truly dreaded. He might not speak of it either, but to him Gawain was everything. He had no one else.

He spent that last mission in a foul mood, alternately sticking as close as possible to Gawain, hoping for some sort of reassurance, and avoiding him for all he was worth, in case his fears were confirmed. His anger and frustration at being forced to run this last stupid, suicidal errand gave him cover, for everyone knew how much he hated being under Roman command, how much he wanted to go home. Yet now he found he was not so desperate to return to Sarmatia, not if he was going to lose Gawain to some woman the moment they arrived. Did Gawain have someone in mind? A childhood sweetheart, perhaps? He had never mentioned one, but then he probably wouldn't, would he?

Galahad's rational half tried several times to reassert itself, pointing out in reasonable tones that this was _Gawain_ , and he had never given any indication that he was less than happy with the way things were between them. He was as attentive as ever, in the subtle way that was customary between them, his apparent eagerness to be home not causing his affections to wane. And yet Galahad could not help but be suspicious and fearful. 

He had no chance to speak to Gawain about it, all of them being somewhat preoccupied with the Saxons, so by the time they finally returned to the fort he had worked himself up into a state of full-blown panic, though at the same time his common sense was still telling him he was being foolish. Now that he had the opportunity to speak to Gawain, he found that he could not bring himself to do so; could not bear the thought of putting his foolishness into words, whether or not it was truly justified.

His unease manifested itself in a glorious fit of petulance almost worthy of Lancelot, and he ended up stropping off (as Vanora would probably have put it) and hiding in the stables with a flagon of wine.

After it was all over, and Gawain had held him and reassured him (the kind of reassurance that left Galahad grinning like a lunatic for hours afterwards) and supported him back to his chamber to sleep off the aftereffects of the wine, Galahad reflected on what an idiot he had been. After all, he had _known_ that Gawain was only joking about the wife and the children; so why had he almost managed to convince himself that it was true? _Because you are so afraid of losing him,_ his common sense told him - and yet now he felt no fear at all. They were free men at last, and though Gawain had not said as much, it was clear that he had no intention of leaving Galahad, no intention of returning to Sarmatia and marrying. And Galahad found that he too no longer wanted so badly to go home. His homesickness and its opposing dread of returning to Sarmatia alone had gone; as always he wanted only to be where Gawain was, and whether Gawain was going back to Sarmatia or staying in Britannia, Galahad would go with him.


End file.
